Bankrupt

I work non stop so i can pay a lawyer.  I work non stop so i can pay child support.  I work non stop so i can protect myself against my ex husband.  I work non stop so i can provide a roof over my daughters head.  I work non stop for a lawyer so i can ask to see my daughter more.  I work non stop to be broke all the time and fall farther and farther into debt.  He has wore me out with his motions.  Motion after motion.  He has wore me out with his lies.  i work non stop for a daughter i love more than anything and she doesn't want to see me half the time.  He is wealthy and promises her Disney world and toys and money... Whatever she wants.  He is turning her against me.  I am so tired.  I am so tired i did not know i had her for mothers day weekend because i worked.  He will use that against me.  He finally broke me.  I'm exhausted.  I would do anything to see her more.  I work three jobs for my lawyer.  I'm done.  Lawyers are blood sucking.  They promise you the world and provide you with false hope.  They blow smoke up your ass and when the money well runs dry they toss you to the side.  I guess you can't blame them when the other side is a wealthy psychopath...  The court room is a very unjust place.  I am bankrupt because of it.  The family court system is there to make the lawyers rich.  divorce is a very high dollar business.  Cha ching, cha ching....

Parental Alienation Syndrome

My ex husband is turning my daughter against me and there is nothing I can do about it...  There is no justice in the court room.  The judge will never hear what he is doing to her.  The lawyers are in the way.  His lawyer is making money.  "At all cost I will destroy her"

Parental alienation syndrome (abbreviated as PAS) is a term coined by Richard A. Gardner in the early 1980s to refer to what he describes as a disorder in which a child, on an ongoing basis, belittles and insults one parent without justification, due to a combination of factors, including indoctrination by the other parent (almost exclusively as part of a child custody dispute) and the child's own attempts to denigrate the target parent.^[1] Gardner introduced the term in a 1985 paper, describing a cluster of symptoms he had observed during the early 1980s.^[

Signs of Parental Alienation (PA)

A number of signs or indicators of alienation can be identified. It should be recognised that not all these signs appear in all cases, they are numerous but many will in fact apply to those who alienate children against the non-custodial parent. This unfortunately tends to be the father rather than the mother although increasingly fathers are employing such techniques against mothers also. Whoever uses alienation procedures or brainwashing to get the child to hate the other parent is clearly in the wrong and is guilty of causing harm to the child in the present and the future. There is considerable research indicating the harm that is done to children who are alienated against a parent when they are young. Increasing research has also shown that when they become adults such individuals suffer retrospectively from the damage done by an alienating parent.
What follows will be a number of signs some of which interact with other items and should be viewed not in isolation but in combination in this complex problem of the alienation process:

1. Lack of independent thinking from the child imitating the alienator’s thoughts and feelings.
   
2. Destroying mail or even presents from the alienated parent.
   
3. The alienating parent tends to seek to curtail all communication between the child and the alienated parent.
   
4. The alienated parent is seen as the scapegoat. He or she is blamed for everything that has gone wrong with the child. There is no sense of ambivalence.
   
5. The child calls the alienated parent a liar and other abusive names similar to the alienating parent.
   
6. The child insults, shows disrespect, and humiliates the alienated parent often on front of the alienator.
   
7. Alienated parents are viewed as being despicable, faulty and deserving of being rejected permanently.
   
8. Parents who alienate children are seducing the child emotionally and will continue to do this while in control of the child, yet they deny that they are doing anything but encouraging the child to make contact with the alienated parent.
   
9. The child is made to feel guilty for any love shown towards the alienated parent. The child will deny any involvement with the alienated parent, fearful of what the alienator would do to him or her.
   
10. The child fears rejection by the programmer in case he or she wishes to say good thing about the alienated parent or wishing to be with him or her.
    
11. The child is owned, controlled, and indoctrinated by the alienating parent. That parent is viewed as all good, all wise, and all powerful by the child who becomes dependent, manipulated by them. There is never questioning that what the parent says or does is always right.
    
12. The child tends to paraphrase statements used by the alienating parent. The words used are often untypical of words likely to be used by a child. It is very similar to a cult type of indoctrination.
    
13. The child suffers from paranoia (hatred) inculcated by the alienating parent who promotes attitudes, intentions, and behaviours of a negative nature to the alienated parent.
    
14. The child will speak about exaggerated or contrived abuse that has been experienced from the alienated parent.
    
15. The child or alienating parent makes statements insinuating quasi or actual sexual, emotional, and physical abuse suffered by the child.
    
16. The language comes indirectly from the alienator such as, “he touches me inappropriately,” or “he has penetrated me,” These are all borrowed scenarios from the alienating parent.
    
17. Children who are alienated no longer know truth from lies.
    
18. The child who is alienated against the parent will often be alienated against the parent’s family also.
    
19. The alienator will also poison the child against the therapist unless the therapist supports the alienator. Hence the therapist is seen as an enemy in the same light as the alienated parent.
    
20. It is not what alienator says but how it is said. For example when telling a child “father would like to take you out,” it can be said with joy and enthusiasm indicating positive expectations or it can be said with venom indicating negative feelings. This is what is predominantly communicated to the child rather than the verbal message.
    
21. The alienated child tends to see themselves in a very powerful position, especially in the severity of their antagonism shown to the alienated parent. This is all done following the programming by the alienator.
    
22. Female alienators will often choose female solicitors as they assume they will be able to identify with them better.
    
23. Female alienators are often angry due to the fact that the alienated individual ahs a new relationship, while she has not.
    
24. Some alienators move away from where their ex partner resides in order to make visits difficult or impossible.
    
25. ) Sometimes the name of the child is changed to that of the alienator or the next partner to which the alienator has attached him or herself.
    
26. Frivolous reasons are often given for not wanting to be with the alienated parent. Even when told that if these frivolous reasons were removed the child will often claim they do not wish to be with that parent under any circumstances.
    
27. The child is encouraged to be with friends or play on video games in preference to being with the alienated parent.
    
28. A child who had a history of a good, happy and warm relationship with the now alienated parent before separation or divorce will fail to remember events in the past that made them happy. They may be suffering from amnesia of any good events due to the alienation process.
    

Post Traumatic Stress

I believe psychological abuse is a "blanket abuse".  It goes hand in hand with all abuse. 

Domestic violence can take many forms - physical abuse, sexual abuse, rape, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation, threats of violence.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder:

PTSD, or Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of a life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, terrorist incidents, serious accidents, or physical or sexual assault in adult or childhood. Most survivors of trauma return to normal given a little time. However, some people will have stress reactions that do not go away on their own, or may even get worse over time. These individuals may develop PTSD. People who suffer from PTSD often relive the experience through nightmares and flashbacks, have difficulty sleeping, and feel detached or estranged, and these symptoms can be severe enough and last long enough to significantly impair the person’s daily life.

People with PTSD experience three different kinds of symptoms. The first set of symptoms involves reliving the trauma in some way such as becoming upset when confronted with a traumatic reminder or thinking about the trauma when you are trying to do something else. The second set of symptoms involves either staying away from places or people that remind you of the trauma, isolating from other people, or feeling numb. The third set of symptoms includes things such as feeling on guard, irritable, or startling easily.
PTSD is marked by clear biological changes as well as psychological symptoms. PTSD is complicated by the fact that people with PTSD often may develop additional disorders such as depression, substance abuse, problems of memory and cognition, and other problems of physical and mental health. The disorder is also associated with impairment of the person’s ability to function in social or family life, including occupational instability, marital problems and divorces, family discord, and difficulties in parenting.

 

What causes PTSD?

Why one person gets PTSD and not another is not completely understood. However, a traumatic experience is required for a diagnosis. Trauma events frequently associated with the development of PTSD include the following:

• Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• Combat experiences
• Terrorist attacks
• Natural disasters such as tornados, floods, earthquakes, or fires
• Life-threatening accidents, such as automobile accidents, airplane crashes, or boating accidents both experienced or witnessed
• Violent crimes, both experienced or witnessed

Palm City

Before I go into how I ended up back in Alabama, let me explain a little bit more about child protective services Palm Beach...

After running away from my rental with my daughter when DCF told me of my husbands extensive criminal history I ended up in Palm City with my friends family.  I felt safe.   My daughter by this time was experiencing night terrors.  She would wake in the night screaming, kicking, fighting.  Were my fears confirmed once again!!!  I was already afraid of my husband because of the severe emotional abuse I had went through when I was with him, DCF had confirmed he really was a monster with his extensive criminal history now my child is having night terrors.  What happened??

I called a 1-800 number and they directed me to a place called Tykes and Teens.  It is a place where lets say.... Holistic psychologist deal with children and abuse.  Go ahead, check out their credentials.  Tykes and Teens in Palm City Florida.  This is who I am sent to to determine if abuse had happened.  I mean, by now I knew for sure he did something.  DCF in Palm Beach confirmed my biggest fear! 

By now, Palm Beach closed their case after they came out that one time, no investigation, no evidence.  There was no investigation.  They came out to the rental, sat my then, 3 year old down on the couch for 10 minutes with the police and strangers there questioning her, a month after the shelter contacted them....  Yeah, good job investigating.  Then go on to tell me of the extensive criminal history they found on my husband.

Now, in Palm city, moved once again to get away from the man I feared,  I was trying to figure out why this child was having these night terrors so another case was opened after I called the 1-800 number.  She saw the psychologist twice for play time and it was then we had to go back to Alabama for court.

Here's what my psychopath had on me so far..

I left Alabama with a small child and went to Florida.  (We already had the rental there, the house in Alabama was immediately sold by him)
DCF in Palm Beach opened an investigation and closed it with no findings.
I moved yet again with a small child to Palm City.
Another investigation is opened.
I am shaken and out of my mind.  I have a small child and am living off my friends and borrowing money from everyone, getting farther and farther in debt.  "Bitch, you leave me, don't even think your getting a drop of child support from me.  women die over that shit."
I was so afraid of him.  I was also trying to pull myself out of the mental abuse he had put me through.  I was trying to keep my sanity.  My daughter was all I could think about.  I had to protect her.  He threatened me for so long that he would take her if I left him that I believed him.

What he was acting like:
Very calm
Very cool
The side I saw was him was telling me he was going to kill me,  the side everyone else saw was how much of a victim he was and I was hurting the man that loved me.  He is the victim.  He is heartbroken and saddened, he is a really nice guy.  "I don't understand why she is behaving like this, she must be crazy.."
"Bitch I will kill you" (No one hears his threats but me, oh yeah, and my girlfriend and one of his coworkers who backed down from testifying the truth).
"I would never say that, I love her"
"I'm gonna get you"
"I don't know why she is being so mean to me"
"Bitch watch your back"

I am stoned by the world for behaving the way I did.  How dare I put this poor man through this.  He is a really nice guy.  He is the victim..

 

Child protection Palm Beach

After I left my husband my daughter and I ended up in a woman's shelter.  I wish I would of stayed there longer.  At the time I was so afraid of losing my daughter to my ex husband I was afraid of everything, anywhere.  I was so afraid of him.  I was so afraid of losing her.  You see he told me for so long that if I left him he would "take that fucking kid from me".  I just kept telling the women at the shelter there were signs of something between my daughter and her father.  She would hit me and kick me and spit in my face.  He was telling her to do this.  I did not understand it...  Something was going on.

The shelter contacted D.C.F.  

D.C.F contacted me about a month later.  I was staying in a rental house in palm beach gardens.  I remember Jacqueline Loyd from D.C.F. Showing up at my door with the police department questioning me about my accusations towards my husband.  I told her there was signs of something, I did not know what.  She then began to tell me that my husband had an extensive criminal background from several different states.  I was mortified.  She just confirmed my worst fears about this man.  He really was the monster I thought he was.  I was already afraid of him and now I find this out!  I hired a private investigator, I obsessed with spending money I had borrowed and conducting multiple background checks to find what DCF was telling me.  My fear level just quadrupled because of Jacqueline Lloyd Kennedy, palm beach county department of children and families.  She just confirmed my worst fears.  

I was out of there so fast.  Now, I left my husband and the home I walked away from in Alabama, now I just left another home with my daughter and hid at a friends house with their family and let the "lawyers" take care of things.  I had my legal aid lawyer, my husband had his high profile, high dollar lawyer.  You see, immediately after leaving him, he cut me off financialy.  I had nothing.

When I met my husband I owned my own home, my own business.  I lived in palm beach.  I was so young and naive, I let him talk me into selling everything and moving to Alabama in the middle of nowhere.  I know... Pretty stupid....  Hey, I was a kid myself.  He was much older than I and financially secure himself, really nice guy, he would never hurt me.  With all his money what would he want with my money?

when I left him I had nothing...  No access, no nothing.  He immediately cut me off with a small child.  I was able to get together maybe a couple hundred dollars?  I can not remember the exact amount.  I was going to prison for auto theft, child theft, you name it.  He was going to kill me.  I can't believe I let him do that to me mentally.

Now I am starting to look unstable.  I left Alabama, came back to florida where we came from, now I just left the rental and am in hiding because d.c.f. Just confirmed my worst fears by telling me of his extensive criminal history...

Now it's January?  About then..  Jacqueline Lloyd calls me and say....  Ooooops.  We made a mistake.  It was the wrong person.... Sorry!  Yes, I have proof of this.  In a couple different fashions.  Does she have any idea what she just put me through?  My psychopath is sitting back very calm, emotionless.  I am running around from state to state, county to county with a small child, no money, no job.  I am a mother trying to protect my daughter.

No job.

No money

No home

Fear beyond belief of the man who moved me out to the middle of the woods to torture me mentally and take my whole life for leverage and use my daughter against me for his mental torture.  He knows she is the only thing in this world that he could hurt me with.  He tortures me mentally.  He tried to "break" me out there in alabama.  He almost succeeded; however, the love I have for my daughter and knowing who this man really was, kept me going.  I knew I had to leave him, for her.

I'm running from a man who is doing something with my daughter, I don't know what.  Her behavior, her behavior towards me.  It is him turning her against me.  I did not understand this...  What kind of person would do this?  A pervert? I don't know but I saw the signs of something!

Just think if Jerry Sandusky's wife saw the signs many years ago.  She would have her kids taken away and custody would of been given to Jerry and she would be thrown under the bus with an insanity accusation.  Jerry Sandusky would never do something like that.  How dare you even say something like that.  Let's stone her...  He is a really nice guy.  How dare she.  It is only now that people ask, "why didn't she see the signs?", let's stone her...

Seeing the signs, or feelings a mother has, knowing what kind of person the really nice guy really is, does not hold up in court, especially when you are dealing with a psychopath.

He serves me with divorce papers from alabama.  Why not florida?  I am told to go back to Alabama..  He sold the house, I have no family, no friends, no job, no money, no place to go, and I am told to go back to Alabama.  That story will be on another blog.

He took my spirit

I left my husband in October of 2010.  I have a daughter, who at the time was three.  I was so afraid of him.  I waited until he went on a trip, packed up me and my daughter, and left.  I was so afraid..  I was so afraid of him.  I knew if I stayed he was going to kill me.  I just had no idea the extent of damage he did to me mentally, spiritually.  It is now almost four years after I left him, my psychopath finally took my spirit.  He also took custody of my daughter.  He spent over $100000 in lawyers doing so. He did to me what he told me he would do if I left him.  I now, four years later accept, my psychopath won.

The court system is a very unjust place when it comes to abused women.  It is very unjust especially when your abuser has money and will do everything in his power to take you down mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially.  He will crush you and torture you until you shake with fear and then have his high dollar lawyer squash you in front of the world so everyone can see you shake and then call you emotionally unstable, meanwhile, the psychopath has the ability to remain cool and calm.  He is emotionless.  He is stable.

I was beat down mentally for so long from my ex husband while we were married, and I am still being beat down, almost four years later, only now, he uses my daughter for his dirty work.  He even teaches her to beat me down as well.

I fought for so long..  I fought for her with my every breath, with every inch of everything I had.  Now I am tired.  My psychopath finally took the only thing that I had left, he took my spirit....

My abuser won.

no........  I will keep going....  I love my daughter to much to give up.  I just needed to vent.